they're one of my mom's favorite bands, and in the 90s the Dance album was one of the handful of CDs that she kept in the car. she had Rumors too, I think, but played The Dance more often.
The songs, now, are inscribed into the back of my brain. lyrics, music, backstory (since of course my mother knew which band members had dated or been married), images of the streets of Bucks County flying past the minivan windows. She probably played it in Florida, too. I was a smart enough kid; I grasped the emotions and the events even five and ten years before puberty.
I was a damn late bloomer. The Sign of Womanhood [tongue-in-cheek...I know plenty of people with uteruses that are not women and even more who are not "ladies"] that happens in this century to people who are certainly not adults did not arrive until I was almost fifteen. Tenth grade. Normal emotions started their debut when I got off gluten--the end of my senior year of high school.
It's weird to look back on the changes in how much I could feel. and the ability to have reasonable human relationships. it's weird to remember sort of generally loving "The Chain" because it was catchy and because the music was good, and also to remember being eighteen and hearing my own brand new actual heartwrenching yet energized longing in the same words. Driving home from work with the windows down, using my left hand to mimic the drums and feeling my own pounding heart.
also, it's funny knowing exactly why I was so fascinated with Christine McVie's low voice. thanks, puberty.
another one: my sister and I have been able to mimic every guitar twang in My Little Demon probably since she could talk. weird now that I know what he means. To have been there, trying to keep it together for someone whom I'd decided deserved my best. To even know the difference between my best and my worst...I guess I know now to value the ability to know how I'm relating to other people. (knowing when it's okay to open up, though; now there's a challenge.)
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