correlations

when i look back at my first three and a half years of college, i realize the enormity of the number of hours I have sat up half the night talking to friends. for some reason most of these chats have been with guys above a five out of ten on the Batshit Scale.

most of my friends are not male. most of my friends...well, some of them, are not batshit.

more on this later, probably.

I don't know who I want to be.

I know that I don't have to know right now. but a little direction would be nice.

end of whining for tonight, I swear.

Dear parents,

No. Stop it stop it stop it.

I understand that there are worse things in the world. There are a lot of terrible things that parents can and do inflict upon their children. But for the love of all that is good in the world, stop fucking ordering me around. If your balance of household chores is unsatisfactory, relying on your twenty-year-old who lives 300 miles away to a. mediate your arguments, b. do things you don't want to, or c. do things her sister doesn't want to do is not actually satisfactory. especially not for said twenty-year-old.

If you want me to do something, try approaching me as an adult who actually does have some understanding of how to manage her time (well, sometimes) instead of demanding when and how. Never mind giving me the opportunity to say no. Yelling is bad. Blackmail is worse.

Stop telling me when to go to sleep and when to wake up. I do not need directives regarding how much and what I eat. or exercise. or read. or watch TV. or paint my nails.

All this yelling and ordering and demanding really gets ye olde anxiety going. None of this has changed, except that now it's supposed to be my vacation.

Love,
The Gay One :D

to chew on later

"the more it might hurt, the more i might die doing it, the more worth doing it must be"

also, i definitely have a crush. what is it with me and breaks?

moments i hope never to forget

The time my former manager at my very first job told me I was like a little sister to him. He helped me plan some date that never happened with some girl who turned out to be crazy, but mostly he didn't freak out when I came out to him as gay. We talked on the phone a couple of times in the middle of long summer days, usually about nothing, but one time he had all these questions for me about how to enroll in community college and place into the right classes. I found out via facebook that he died this summer. I hadn't seen him in years; we'd both moved to different jobs and I spent most of my time in rochester by that point, but it still made me really sad.

The message I got from my friend welcoming me back to Rochester after the thanksgiving break from hell.

The way my cousins, my sister and I used to play spies in my grandparents' house

The time I sat in the Sue B second floor lounge my senior year and a new friend told me he had my back. He said he'd work to earn my trust.

Walking with my grandmother on the shore at sanibel island

Making that dumb speech about public speaking at the top ten percent dinner before graduating from high school. (random, yes.)

yet again

Curiosity killed the cat, in theory.

I am definitely the cat.

but i want to ask more questions?

this is too embarrassing to post on facebook

Directions:

Mark which things you have done, then calculate your score by counting the number of questions you marked. This test is out of 100 questions which means that the number you get as your score is also your percentage. Tag 10 of your friends , and re-post as "I do stupid things __% of the time."

1. [x] Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out: vanilla milkshake met kitchen walls...luckily i caught it fairly quickly...oops

2. [ ] Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails

3. [ ] Broken a chair by leaning back in it

4. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking: I can't tell you the number of times I've tried to blow a gum bubble while walking in a parking lot and then had the wind take the whole thing away :(

5. [x ] Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. [ ] Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not, or had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head

7. [x] Been caught staring at your crush by your crush: ...shh. 

8. [x] Have looked for something for at least 5 min then realized it was in your hand

9. [x] Tried to push open a door that said pull

10. [x] Tried to pull open a door that said push: YES

Running total: 7

11. [ ] Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion

12. [ ] Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else

13. [ ] Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs: see number seven. AHH.

14. [x] Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave: this is fun though...

15. [ ] Have gotten gum stuck in your hair

16. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble

17. [] Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it: EW i would freak out

18. [x] Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard

19. [ ] Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name

20. [x] Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot: every part of my feet and shins have been damaged by this...

Running total: 11

21. [x] Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on: yes. and i wear nametags after leaving conferences...oops

22. [ ] Have fallen out of a moving vehicle

23. [ ] Have run into a closed door

25. [x] Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it

26. [ ] It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke

27. [ ] Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer

28. [ ] Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan

29. [x] Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk

30. [ ] Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

Running total: 14

31. [ ]After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it

32. [x] Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside

33. [x] Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else: walked up to them, conversed with them, called them Mom, showed them things in the mall, yes. hahaha

34. [ ] Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off

35. [x] Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc when its on, even though you knew it was hot

36. [x] Taken off your clothes to change into something else then accidentally put the old clothes back on.

37. [ ] Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in

38. [x] Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard: doesn't the cereal BELONG in the fridge?

39. [ ] Walked into a pole

40. [ ] Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident/stolen someones shoes by accident

Running total: 19

41. [ ] took a picture of someone's eye with the flash on

43. [x] Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small

44. [ ] Walked out of the bathroom (stall) with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it

45. [x] Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there, you forgot what it was that you were going to do

46. [x] Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it

47. [x] Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up: all the time, weirdly

48. [x] Have poked yourself in the eye: with my finger, with a mascara wand, walked into a badminton net, etc. haha

49. [ ] Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on

50. [ ] Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

Running total: 24

51. [ ] Have done enough stupid things to make a test

52. [x] Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil

53. [ ] Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it

54. [ ] Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was

55. [x] Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were: YES.

56. [ ] Looked into an overhead purposefully while it was on

57. [x] Got up early and got ready for school/work, then realized that you didn't have school/work that day

58. [x] Forgot your own phone number

59. [x] Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it

60. [x] Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny

Running total: 30

61. [ ] Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa

62. [x] Said funner then had someone make fun of you for it: but i love the "word" funner

63. [ ] Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence

64. [ ] Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person

65. [x] Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side: PPACS AGHHH

66. [x] Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions

67. [ ] Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong

68. [xxxxxxxx] Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it: every day of my life

69. [x] Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out

70. [] Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

Running total: 35

71. [ ] When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face

72. [ ] Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb

73. [ ] Ran into a door jamb

74. [ ] Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid: haha no I know i'm stupid

75. [x] Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it

76. [ ] Have purposely licked playground sand -- not as fun as it looks:....why????

77. [x] Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band

78. [x] Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't

79. [x] Have been so hyper you actually scared people

80. [] Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would hurt

Running total: 39

81. [ ] Put tape on someone else's hair then pulled it off

82. [x] Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again

83. [x] Sat and wondered why men's dress shirts have a loop on the back: someone explain this to me please?

84. [ ] Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about, then accidentally gave the code name away

85. [ ] Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair.

86. [x] Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone .

87. [ ] Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked funny: OWWWW no thank you

88. [x] When at a restaurant, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people

89. [ ] Have flung forks at people in a restaurant

90. [ ] Tripped and made the waiter drop the food.

Running total: 43

91. [ ] As you are writing, you move/moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil

92. [ ] Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them

93. [ ] Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper

94. [ ] Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours

95. [x] Have started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story

96. [x] Read a whole book but during the whole book you weren’t even paying attention

97. [x] You have spelled your own name wrong before: on a spelling test in second grade. it was my first name. awesome.

98. [x] When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling

99. [x] Have used your calculator as a form of communication in a class

100. [ ] Have popped a balloon in your mouth

Grand total: 48