we need more than one beauty standard

I spend a lot of time thinking about gender identity. I sit around reading about other people's gender identity, questioning my own gender identity, talking about what it's like to have a less common gender identity, and these are all very important to me personally and academically.

But tonight, when I went to women's caucus, my two friends led a discussion with a goal of rekindling our passion for feminism-slash-gender-friendly-politics, since club membership is dwindling. Toward the end, we were talking about our biggest frustrations in daily life, and we got stuck on body image.

For the very first time, I told a group of people about my fight against disordered eating and shitty body image. It's a fight that I've largely won, for now, but from a purely academic standpoint I understand that this is not the sort of thing that goes away.

I did not say "I admitted to a group of people." It shouldn't be a secret. It's not something to be ashamed of. For me, this fight has come mostly from images I ingested from television and the movies--from Disney on up to the L Word. I haven't done the research to speak to the causes of eating disorders as an epidemic, but I've done enough reading to know that the media and issues of control (check for that one being present in my life, too) are big ones.

After I spoke my piece, which was really to do with comparisons to other people and No Fat Talk Week, another friend turned to me and expressed that it was good to know that everyone struggles. (Here's where I add that I am small-framed by most people's standards, and not especially fit or muscular, and she is curvy and belly dances and does zumba.)

What. The. Hell.
If littler girls are conditioned to hate their bodies, and medium girls like one of the leaders tonight are conditioned to hate their bodies for different reasons, and bigger girls are conditioned to hate their bodies for still other reasons, WE ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG AS A SOCIETY. Where is four-foot-eleven  on my television screen? Where is 160 pounds doing news interviews? Why are snow white and cinderella and barbie all built the damn same way?

Why is it that if you don't consciously avoid mainstream media and capitalism, you're exposed to the idea that there is only one acceptable body type? Why is it okay that all the jeans they sell in the mall are cut in the same proportions of inseam, hips, ass, thighs? Why are there padded bras, minimizers, elastic girdles, jeans with butt pads? Everything they sell, from shirts to undergarments to liposuction, is designed to make our bodies look just like someone else's. Enough.

What the hell is so wrong with our bodies the way they are? NOTHING.

I want every damn six-year-old and sixteen-year-old to hear and see that wherever your body fat and muscle distributes is good.