I read enough to know this is a psychological stage and that things will get better, but i'm also human, and right now i'm angry at myself.
I was having a chat with a buddy earlier tonight that reminded me of something about myself. Backstory is that we haven't known each other too long, but he's one of the people i talk to online late at night when i should be doing homework. we were talking about a bunch of stuff, including something he'd alluded to a few times before but seemed nervous to talk about. my attempt to encourage him to continue if he felt comfortable was to take a guess at the topic. ...and i was right. pretty much spot-on in my perception of him and the thing he was worried about. Reading people is one of the things i'm good at in life. I like that I have the ability to tell what's up with people, even if they try to hide it. I can usually spot things others can't.
(This, incidentally, is exactly why I can't argue. Things people don't tell me directly are not fair game, in my book, and it's likely that everything I ever realized about a person would come spilling out in one rage-filled paragraph. I'm not a cruel person, even when I'm pretty angry or upset, but it means I have to keep my mouth shut. even at the expense of looking like a crappy fighter.)
So I repeat, how did I end up in this mess?
How the fuck didn't I see it coming?
And more importantly, what the hell do I do now? I don't want to be that girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment