Meh. With the exception of birth-control-induced PMS depression my senior year of high school (during which I couldn't do much more than sit around and cry for a day at a time), the worst things ever were was my sophomore year of college. I wasn't anywhere really close to suicidal, thankfully. Somewhere in about September, everything started to fall apart, beginning with my relationship with my good friend and roommate. We were living in this tiny, hot double with no privacy, and it was horrible. She's a pretty strong personality with a lot of "friends," and I was the listener. It started getting tense (she thought I was ignoring her, I felt like she was pulling away from me, we were arguing over who was whose lab partner, etc.) and then got worse (homophobic rumors, passive-aggressive post-its, general glaring) and worse (silent treatment).
That was about the time that all of the people from our freshman hall started to show their true colors--I'd thought that they were mutual friends of my roommate and me, but it became clear that they were (a) kind of shallow and annoying, and (b) totally not on my side. Long story short, I didn't really have any friends on campus. I'd had to break up with my very first girlfriend, thanks to leftover baggage from the previous summer, and I was feeling pretty terrible about that. I was tentatively and uncomfortably "seeing" some other girl for a while, although she was mostly a substitute for all of my other friends, and she was just totally failing at making me feel good about the relationship or at setting boundaries. Eventually, I started falling for a friend back home, who had a girlfriend but was confessing feelings for me. Of course I had no one to talk to about this situation, because I wasn't speaking to anyone I'd made friends with the past year.
Oh, and I was slowly realizing I hated my major, and I was reeling from a shitty...friendship I had broken off. That fall sucked.
and this was a pointless post. oops.
No comments:
Post a Comment